Natural service (Winter Christian #2)

How to reconcile daily life with divine calling

Before all else, pursue the Kingdom of God, and its righteousness; then, all these things will be added to your account.

— Matthew 6:33

One of the most common questions I’ve received is how to serve the Kingdom. When I give advice to Christians to stop feeling guilty and start doing your job, nothing seems to jump to mind for them, except big things like starting a ministry, joining an organization, or doing a project. Some people will do those things. But I believe the collective influence of every ordinary Christian is of far greater importance.

On a whim one Sunday I attended a random church, and was instantly questioned about what kind of skills I had, so that they can throw me into one of their projects. Yes, this church had dedicated people in their lobby to recognize newcomers and scout their talents. They were looking for carpenters, plumbers, cement workers, IT specialists, etc.. Sadly, I didn’t have any of that. When I told them that my skill was being a writer who did research on philosophical and biblical topics, do you think they excitedly put me into a position of developing their doctrine? No, they already had that covered. They wanted high-value labor for free (actually, I can’t remember if they mentioned compensation, to be fair) to expand real estate, conquering territory with new locations, definitely not a guy who thinks he can dissect where their ideas might be wrong after decades of tradition. On that day, if I had known how to hammer boards together skillfully, and said “yes” to their proposition, but dragged people down on my work site with my ungodly attitude and bad example, would I really have been serving God’s Kingdom?

For the first fifteen years of my Christian walk I was unsure whether I was doing anything that would please God, which was depressing. Fifteen years is a long time to be in doubt. I had the same guilt, shame, and “sinful” feeling that I see in so many others. At some point I wanted to “work in the field” as Jesus commanded, but that seemed impossible. My lifestyle was clean and responsible (at least compared to others my age) but it didn’t feel rewarding, satisfying, or interesting. I have no meaningful “connections” or opportunities, being the son of an immigrant laborer who died before I was an adult. To this day, it would be easy for me to tell myself that I haven’t really done anything. Although I have certainly had some impact on a few people, they could just as quickly change their minds, and probably will! These days I sometimes watch TikTok videos, and see fools babbling nonsense about Revelation, getting twenty times as many likes and shares as my own did years ago, and I wonder if all I did was open the door so that wolves in sheep’s clothing could enter in and deceive the uneducated. Meanwhile, there are doctors who travel around the world to disasters and save people’s lives; scientists who cure diseases; talented fundraisers who pile up cash for huge relief projects; grandfathers who share valuable financial wisdom with their families; small business owners who quietly donate to the poor; and so many other measurable difference-makers who serve God’s Kingdom in their own ways. What does God really want us to be doing, and can we please Him without the receipts to show that we changed the world?

How I came to see service differently

For me, it really took getting older to figure out what serving the Kingdom was about. When I was young, I always felt like the Kingdom was “out there” in an abstract way, or alternatively, it must be something so deeply internal that it can never manifest outwardly. Either way, it was a special, powerful force of change, and one that would jump out at you if you ever saw it. This is magical thinking, and it’s no longer what I believe.

Now you may wonder, what did getting older change about my understanding? That’s simple: I saw the fruit of labor. Not just in myself, but all around me. When you’re a young person, you only see what’s happening in the current moment, you don’t know where it came from. You may even see “the truth” about a situation (for example, you see that somebody is depressed) but not the context (they once had a much better life). Over time, I personally tracked how one man went from being happy and carefree with plenty of friends, to becoming alone, suicidal, and God-hating. What happened? Without context, I would only be able to guess, but since I knew the man from the beginning, I was able to notice that it was due to his Peter Pan-like refusal to grow up and become respectable, while all of his friends were moving on from childish things. This was a slow, piecemeal, quiet change that nobody seemed to notice, including the man himself. But all along, it was a choice he was making, over and over, and yes, those choices included expenses, effort, and sacrifices. In other words, it was a kind of labor. And in time, I saw what all that labor earned him.

Close enough depiction of the Atheist.

Again, I saw how another went from jaded and narcissistic Atheist to suddenly fearing God and giving up his bad habits. I’m glad to say I played a part in that transformation, as I was realizing my ability to influence those around me by being a caring person who helped others to get out of their own bullshit and acknowledge that they can do better if they want to. I didn’t preach to him at all. In fact, he brought up religion, and how many stupid things he’s noticed, and I agreed with him! For every complaint he made about Christians, I added more. I wasn’t going to defend anyone but Jesus (because we are all guilty, although we don’t need to feel that way). One day he was complaining about his Christian grandfather, who gave him a Bible for a wedding gift, and he thought it was an act of selfish judgment: “I don’t approve of you because you’re an Atheist!” But when I asked if the grandfather had ever spoken that way to him in person, he said he hadn’t. I told him it’s possible that his grandfather was actually showing the greatest love he knew how, by wanting to give him something that helped him through many tough times in his life and marriage when he was this guy’s age. Within a few minutes, he came around and asked which book of the Bible he should read first. (Praise God!)

And while it’s hard to see change in yourself sometimes, I noticed it there too, eventually. I had gone from being an antisocial, avoidant, gloomy hermit living in my own thoughts and trying to keep life as simple as possible, to somebody who enjoys contributing to situations and conversations, and is happy to give people any little advice I can. I became more confident, mature, and balanced. But why? Certainly, I had seen others become shattered, childish, and destructive who were even older than me, so age itself couldn’t be the solution.

Before I saw the fruit of my own labors (I didn’t even think I was doing labor!) I saw the fruit of others. I noticed how the attitude of some people tended to have a toxic, degrading, manipulative effect on those around them—their group of friends, co-workers, and even myself—while others were ended up quietly pushing people into a greater sense of compassion, patience, and accountability. It was remarkable. And then I started seeing it everywhere, with everyone: we are all receiving signals from those around us, and we are all sending signals ourselves. And then it started to dawn on me.

Advice on serving God’s Kingdom

1. Do not try to accomplish much while you’re young. The Bible actually warns about new converts getting “puffed up” and vain in their hearts (1 Tim 3:6), although Timothy himself was considered young, and he was defended for doing so. However, he also had one of the best mentors possible, the Apostle Paul! Those fifteen years of feeling like I didn’t know what I was doing was because I didn’t know what I was doing. I thank God that I had people around me to advise me against my arrogant impulses, so that I created a small video game fan site instead of trying to be a Christian leader at that age. My ability to help others has increased with age and wisdom, not by some decision. It almost came naturally.

2. Look for it. Every time I learned something (about life, work, women, society, history, whatever!) I thought about how it fit into the puzzle of Christianity. Many times, every week, I would reflect on the nature of society, human behavior, and Bible sayings, until they slowly started to connect in ways that made more sense. I was a student of life, PURSUING THE KINGDOM AND ITS RIGHTEOUSNESS by asking questions and struggling with answers. Yes, that is what it means. It is a seeking of the mysteries related to God’s will, and you’re doing right now if you’re reading this. If you continue to look for the truth in everything around you, be patient, take one step at a time, and develop yourself before you try to develop others. Over time, your labor of searching will begin to quietly bear fruit—which is understanding—and if you keep your mind balanced and your heart grateful, you will mature into somebody that others naturally respect and become influenced by.

3. Whether you’re doing a big project or just getting by, you have influence. Yes, even in the smallest things, like staying calm or having a sense of humor when something goes wrong in a situation, or asking a question that you know will cause somebody to think of their mistake. Try not to judge others, but confess instead that you struggle with similar problems. Identify with the weakest, not the strongest. Let nobody be beneath you. But stand up for what is true, and do not be afraid of anyone. Show arrogant people know that you are not afraid of them, but yet restrain yourself and act humbly; do this as a choice, for higher priorities, not self-hate, shame, or the neurotic impulse to defer to others and put yourself last (while secretly hating them). Love others as somebody who knows they have worth granted from the Most High; but worth as a servant, not a leader.

4. Never stop being a student and a support. God has blessed me with some of the most mature, useful people you could ask for since I was a child. Without them I would be a lunatic who strayed too far and cared too little about questioning my own theories and assumptions before running with them. I am a student of those who are wiser than me, and I believe a critical aspect of serving in the Kingdom of God is to be an encouragement to those who have done anything good for you. You never know how much difference a small compliment will make. My own journey as a writer would have ended long ago if not for the emails and comments of those who, even back when I wrote about trivial things and pop culture, took the time to show appreciation.

5. We are all secret agents. We live double lives. Outwardly, to the public, we live menial lives without doing anything important, while secretly we are planting the seeds of the Kingdom in our conversations, reactions, and—yes, we must never forget this—our prayers. Even without a single conversation, you can influence others by praying for them. The older I get and the more I’ve yammered on about things I think are important, the more I wonder if silent prayer doesn’t make a bigger difference than an explanation. Certainly I have noticed that the quietest Christians sometimes make the biggest difference, although this is a mystery I am still trying to understand. The point is, we are like secret agents working for the Kingdom, which is an underground network of spiritually-connected family members. If you’re interested in this kind of logic, check out this lecture I did two years ago:

6. Living is working. That’s what it all comes down to. You can serve the Kingdom of God by living like somebody who is looking for it, who cares about it, and who takes on the role of the ambassador for it. I do not believe the Kingdom is some internal relationship with God, nor some major observable force in the world, but the cumulative effects of millions (God knows how many, in reality) of Christians thinking this way about life. You could be the biggest church fundraiser in the world and be estranged from God. Jesus himself warns that many will say to him on the Day of Judgment how much they have served his Kingdom, and what does he tell them? I NEVER KNEW YOU. They were performing the acts, but not developing themselves to the point where they would be commissioned by the Lord to do something for His Kingdom.

Conclusion

God has given us forgiveness, not so that we can live carefree and irresponsibly, but so that we have can be “born again” — or as Isaiah put it, “restored” and “revived” — which allows us to develop our new conscience, maturity, and service mentality without the baggage of satanic neurosis and crippling guilt. We are a new creature, free from the fears of this world, and the shackles of sin. Although we will not stop sinning until we are dead, the power of sin—guilt—is gone. This way, we train ourselves for the secret mission of the Kingdom as double agents, looking for truths, opportunities, and ways to help our fellow servants. We are in the battle every day whether we pay attention or not.

Now there are two things I specifically want to caution you about. One is that God will test us and allow us to fail, just so that we can experience a humbling and receive another clue about the mystery of the Kingdom. Secondly, if you eventually become the type of person God can use in more interesting ways, do not be surprised if strange coincidences come out of nowhere which do not seem to be “godly” or “evil”, but simply interesting. In such moments, you have permission to explore the opportunity with faith, knowing that God simply by virtue of having developed yourself into that trained and balanced vessel for service, it will be used for God’s glory. I personally believe, based on reading the Gospels and seeing how things work in daily life, that Jesus gets a kick out of putting his servants in juxtapositions.

In the next part, I will discuss more directly the concept of the “Winter Christian”, which is about preparing not just for service to the Kingdom, but for doing so in the specific conditions of our present world.